I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me, wall.
I hear him talking. About yachts, attic apartments, houses, houses in India. It would sound to some people like heaven, but for me it is pure hell. He won’t let me go. He promises me everything and he says that he loves me. I know this is Karma. I did this to myself for sure. To what degree I don’t know.
But this is why I can’t stop now. I can’t go back to this nightmare paved with money and everything I’m supposed to dream of. It’s not beautiful, it’s really not. I have to do what makes me feel alive, not dead inside.
I don’t know why it’s pure hell. This is why I’m saying almost everything I’ve been told is the other way around. I’ve been told this should make me happy. It should make me feel safe, but it’s not. All these promises.
None of these things make me happy. I miss that piece of red string I used to wear around my wrist years ago. That’s what I should have kept. But then truth be told some technology makes me happy too. There’s no denying that.